On the lighter side...
Bliss
A young jockey and his stable lass girlfriend make the decision to
get married. Everything is planned and the couple intend to honeymoon
in Italy for a week. The marriage goes off without a hitch and the
couple set off on their honeymoon.
While checking in, the lady behind the desk asks, "We have a choice
of two suites available for you; would you like the bridal?"
"No thanks," says the jockey. "I'll just hold her ears till she
gets the hang of it!"
David Beckham decides to go horse riding. Although he has had no
previous experience, he skillfully mounts the horse and appears in
complete command of the situation as the horse gallops along at a
steady pace, with Victoria admiringly watching her husband.
After a short time David becomes a little casual and he begins to
lose his grip in the saddle; he panics and grabs the horse round the
neck, shouting for it to stop. Victoria starts to scream and shouts
for someone to help her husband as David has by this time slipped
completely out of the saddle and is only saved from hitting the ground
by the fact that he still has a grip on the horse's neck. David
decides that his best chance is to leap away from the horse, but his
foot has become entangled in one of the stirrups. As the horse gallops
along David's head is banging on the ground and he is slipping into
unconsciousness. Victoria is now frantic and screams and screams for
help!!
Hearing her screams, the Tesco Security Guard comes out of the
store and unplugs the horse!
An inflatable jockey was riding an inflatable horse for an
inflatable trainer and an inflatable owner, for the first time over
the jumps. Leading easily after the last, he pulls up too early and
two horses go past him.
After the race, the jockey was so aggravated at what had transpired
that he stuck a pin in the horse, then he stuck a pin in the trainer
and then the owner. He was called in front of the Stewards, where he
stuck a pin in himself.
The Chief Steward shook his head in disgust and said to him, "Not
only did you let the horse, the trainer and the owner down, you have
also let yourself down.'"
The G.Man
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